by Thomas Lindaman
Ah, December. It’s a month full of joy, fellowship, and good times.
Then we have to go to the mall. That’s when things get dicey. Sure, we may sing “Peace on Earth, good will towards men,” but that’s before we have to spend the better part of an hour walking from the car to the front door, sometimes in weather that would make the penguins at Ice Station Zero want to put on a parka over their tuxedos.
I may sound like a Grinch, but I think there are some things that we should do away with around Christmas, and I’m not talking about Aunt Edna’s fruitcake, the one that’s been passed from person to person since the fourth Wise Man, Izzy, got turned away at the manger because he brought it. Here is a list of things that should be first to go.
People who get offended at holiday greetings. I’ve heard people actually get upset if you wish them a Merry Christmas and they’re not Christian. We have Islamic extremist terrorists who want us dead merely because we don’t think Mohammed was all that neato, a situation in Darfur that would make a pessimist out of the best motivational speaker, and a declining situation in Iraq. And you’re upset over Merry Christmas? Listen, if a holiday greeting is the biggest thing on your plate right now, you have a pretty sweet life and no reason to complain about anything.
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