Archive for July, 2007

Your DHS at Work

Sunday, July 29th, 2007

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer”

- Dave Barry

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Your DHS (Dept of Homeland Security) has decided to join the chemical regulation world (primarily inhabited by EPA, OSHA and DOT). DHS has proposed a new rule called the “Chemical Facility Anti-Terrorism Standards.”

There are 344 chemicals that DHS is proposing to regulate under this regulation. Info on this proposed regulation is here:
http://www.dhs.gov/xprevprot/laws/gc_1166796969417.shtm

The proposed list of 344 chemicals and their “screening” thresholds are here:
http://www.dhs.gov/xprevprot/laws/gc_1175537180929.shtm

The intent is noble enough (ID nasty chemicals stored anywhere in the US above certain amounts to ensure they’re kept away from terrorists). But the proposed regulation shows that this new agency is in way over their heads when it comes to writing chemical regulations.

The kicker is that over 100 of the 344 chemicals were given a screening threshold of “any amount.” When you use a threshold of “any amount” (one molecule) when regulating chemicals you run into all sorts of problems. That’s why established regulating agencies such as EPA, OSHA, DOT, etc. are smart enough to not write new rules that way.

Case in point: Among those chemicals with this “any amount” threshold is methyl mercaptan. That is the stinky chemical (odorant) intentionally added in tiny amounts to LPG and natural gas so that you can easily detect a gas leak.

So as currently written every business (and home?) in the US using natural gas or LPG would presumably fall under this DHS regulation. That’s probably not what they had in mind.

Methyl mercaptan is only one of many examples of problems that an “any amount” threshold can cause.

Methinks that maybe the DHS doesn’t have much experience writing chemical regulations?? That’s understandable given they’re a new agency. But perhaps they should have invited chemical regulation writers from established agencies (EPA, OSHA, DOT, etc.) in to assist them. I’m willing to be that they didn’t do that. It’s hard to image that ANY other agency would have given the OK to write a chemical rule that has an “any amount” threshold for over 100 chemicals.

It is my understanding that the proposed rule was swamped with thousands of negative comments; many due to the “any amount” thresholds. The final rule is expected out within a few months so presumably that will be one of the many things corrected.

I certainly hope so ……… living in MN my primary concern with natural gas is that it is always available to heat my home in January. I figure terrorists probably have bigger fish to fry.

– Smitty, 7-29-07

Dangerous Sex Offender Captured !!

Wednesday, July 25th, 2007


“If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate.”

- Marion Barry, Former Mayor of Washington, DC

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Captured !!
Cory Mashburn, left, walks with his parents, Tracie and Scott Mashburn, from a juvenile detention facility. He and Ryan Cornelison were arrested in February after they were allegedly caught in the halls of their Oregon middle school slapping girls on the rear end.

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Source: http://news.aol.com/story/_a/boys-face-trial-over-slapping-charges/20070724153509990001

Finally my family and I can sleep peacefully at night. The “authorities” have removed a dangerous threat to our society !!

I’m sure glad that the “authorities” are spending alot of time and legal resources going after threats like this !! I mean it’s not like there are any offenders out there that pose a greater threat to us !!

Of course back when I was in junior high school (during the Pleistocene Epoch), I seem to recall that school principals, superintendents and other local school administrators (making alot less than the 6-figure salaries of such officials now) were able to handle problems like this on their own without bringing in a battery of lawyers and bureaucrats on the taxpayers dime.

– Smitty, 7-25-07

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Boys Face Trial Over Slapping Charges

By SCOTT MICHELS,ABC News
Posted: 2007-07-25 00:47:22
Filed Under: Crime News

NEW YORK (July 25) — Two middle-school students in Oregon are facing possible time in a juvenile jail and could have to register as sex offenders for smacking girls on the rear end at school.

Cory Mashburn and Ryan Cornelison, both 13, were arrested in February after they were caught in the halls of Patton Middle School, in McMinnville, Ore., slapping girls on the rear end. Mashburn told ABC News in a phone interview that this was a common way of saying hello practiced by lots of kids at the school, akin to a secret handshake.

The boys spent five days in a juvenile detention facility and were charged with several counts of felony sex abuse for what they and their parents said was merely inappropriate but not criminal behavior.

The local district attorney has since backed off — the felony charges have been dropped and the district attorney said probation would be an appropriate punishment. The Mashburns’ lawyer said prosecutors offered Cory a plea bargain that would not require him to register as a sex offender, which the family plans to reject.

But the boys, if convicted at an Aug. 20 trial, still face the possibility of some jail time or registering for life as sex offenders.

The boys’ families and lawyers said even sentencing them to probation would turn admittedly inappropriate but not uncommon juvenile rowdiness into a crime. If they are convicted of any of the misdemeanor charges against them, they would have to register as sex offenders.

“It’s devastating,” said Mark Lawrence, Cory Mashburn’s lawyer. “To be a registered sex offender is to be designated as the most loathed in our society. These are young boys with bright futures, and the brightness of those futures would be over.”

‘Lots of Kids Do It’ Cory Mashburn said he and Ryan Cornelison slapped each others’ and other kids’ bottoms every Friday. “Lots of kids at school do that,” he said.

Cory and Ryan were brought to the principal’s office Feb. 22, where they were questioned by school officials and a police officer. They were arrested that day and taken in handcuffs to a juvenile detention facility.

Court papers said the boys touched the buttocks of several girls, some of whom said this made them uncomfortable. The papers also said Cory touched a girl’s breasts. But police reports filed with the court said other students, both boys and girls, slapped each other on the bottom.

“It’s like a handshake we do,” one girl said, according to the police report.

The boys were initially charged with five counts of felony sexual abuse. At a court hearing, two of the girls recanted, saying they never felt threatened or inappropriately touched by the boys. The judge released the boys but barred them from returning to school and required that they be under constant adult supervision.

District Attorney Bradley Berry has since dismissed the felony counts. The boys face 10 misdemeanor charges of harassment and sexual abuse. They face a maximum of up to one year in a juvenile jail on each count, though Berry said there was no way the boys would ever serve that much time.

“An appropriate sentence would be probation,” he said. “These are minor misdemeanor charges that reflect repeated contact against multiple victims. We never intended for them to get a long time in detention.”

“We’re not seeking major penalties,” he said. “We’re seeking change in conduct.”

‘We Just Want This to Be Over’ Tracie Mashburn, Cory’s mother, said they will not accept plea and plan to fight the charges.

The arrests, critics said, reflect a trend toward criminalizing adolescent sexual behavior. Between 1998 and 2002, juvenile arrests for sex offenses other than rape or prostitution rose 9 percent — the only kind of juvenile arrests that rose during that time, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics.

“More and more, they are criminalizing normal adolescent or preadolescent behavior,” said Chuck Aron, co-chairman of the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers juvenile justice committee.

Even probation, the Mashburns and their attorney said, would be too severe a punishment.

Julie McFarlane, a supervising attorney at the Juvenile Rights Project in Portland, Ore., said, “Probation for a sex offense is very difficult thing, and there’s a pretty high failure rate.” Failing to meet the terms of probation could mean the boys would be sent to jail.

Depending on the terms of probation, it’s likely that the boys would not be allowed to have sexual contact with anyone or any contact with younger children, McFarlane said. For Cory Mashburn, that would mean he couldn’t be left alone with his younger siblings.

“It’s been awful,” said Cory’s mother. “We just want this to all be over. But it will never go away. We’ll always remember it.”

Berry, the district attorney, said the victims — the girls who were touched — were being overlooked. “What’s been lost in this whole thing are the victims, who have been pressured enormously by these boys’ friends,” he said.

Cory, who said he now realizes what he did was inappropriate, spends his days playing video games and basketball. He said he’s scared. “I could go to jail. I could be registered as a sex offender,” he said. “I think it’s all crazy.”

My Alma Mater

Thursday, July 19th, 2007


“Mr. Kroger: two C’s, two D’s and an F. That’s a 1.2 grade average. Congratulations, Kroger. You’re at the top of the Delta pledge class.”

– Dean Vernon Wormer

It always gives me such a nice warm feeling in my heart to read about the exploits of my alma mater’s football team ……….. especially considering that the school frequently calls me and other alumni for donations ………….

Source: http://www.twincities.com/newsletter-morning/ci_6391298

Football Gopher charged with rape
Cell phone video allegedly ties cornerback Dominic Jones to intoxicated victim

BY EMILY GURNON
Pioneer Press
TwinCities.com-Pioneer Press
Article Launched:07/17/2007 12:01:00 AM CDT

A University of Minnesota football player was charged Monday with third-degree criminal sexual assault for allegedly having sex with a young woman at his apartment complex when she was so drunk that she was “physically helpless.”

A cell phone video clip of cornerback Dominic Lee Jones, 20, allegedly assaulting the woman is a key piece of evidence in the case, Hennepin County Attorney Mike Freeman said.

The clip had been erased but was partially recovered by forensic experts, Freeman said.

Dominic Jones, who was arrested Sunday night, was one of several Gophers players in the Minneapolis apartment where the 18-year-old victim and some friends were having a “drinking contest” in April, according to the criminal complaint.

The others present included cornerback Keith Massey, defensive end Alex Daniels and running back E.J. Jones, who were arrested shortly after the woman went to police but were released without being charged.

They also had sex with the victim after she had been drinking, and they remain suspects, Freeman said.

Dominic Jones and E.J. Jones are not related; Dominic Jones is the half-brother of Keith Massey.

“Today’s charge represents a significant next step in this case,” Freeman said. “We are going to continue to review each of the cases, each on its own proof.”

It was not clear late Monday whether Dominic Jones had hired an attorney. He was being held at the Hennepin County Jail on $50,000 bail.

Jeff DeGree, the attorney for E.J. Jones, said he was disappointed to hear his client was still a suspect.

“It seems pretty clear that any contact that he had with this girl occurred several hours earlier in the night,” he said. “We’re still confident he won’t be charged and will be back on the football field in the fall.”

Mike Colich, the attorney for Alex Daniels, said: “We are frustrated that for three months they keep telling us there is an investigation going on. In this particular case, Alex Daniels didn’t commit any crime.'’

What happened the night of April 3 and early morning of April 4 was this, according to the criminal complaint:

The victim had gone with friends to a University Village apartment on University Avenue shared by Massey, Daniels, E.J. Jones and a fourth man. Dominic Jones lived in another apartment in the complex.

The fourth man, identified by his mother as former Gophers defensive end Robert McField, challenged the woman to a drinking contest and proceeded to give her eight shots of Karkov vodka, “filled to the brim,” according to the complaint. The football players did not drink. McField and the victim’s female friend then left the room, according to the complaint.

Sometime after that, Massey, Daniels and E.J. Jones took the victim to a bedroom and took turns having sex with her. She was so drunk that she later fell off the toilet seat and hit her head on the bathtub.

McField’s mother, Denise McField, of suburban St. Louis, said her son went to McDonald’s while the sex took place. McField was a member of the Gophers team until last October, when U officials learned he had been charged in two armed robberies. McField pleaded guilty in June to two counts of robbery and one count of armed criminal action and is serving a 12-year sentence in Missouri.

Denise McField said her son told her the sex involving the four was consensual. McField and E.J. Jones have known each other since receiving a local athletics award together their senior year in high school.

“He said, ‘Mama, that girl was just intoxicated.’ Robert lives around women … he has too much respect for that,” Denise McField said.

Massey, Daniels and E.J. Jones are identified only by their initials in the complaint, but “you can figure out from the initials who they are,” Freeman said.

According to the complaint, McField and the victim’s female friend helped her back to the living room. They tried to put her in a chair, but she kept falling out of it. They decided to take her home but realized she could not walk, so they laid her on the couch, where she passed out.

McField later went into Daniels’ bedroom to find Dominic Jones allegedly sexually assaulting the woman while Daniels recorded it on his cell phone, Freeman said.

Dominic Jones then asked McField if he “wants a hit,” according to the complaint.

Denise McField said her son never told her about Dominic Jones. “That’s real hard to believe,” she said. “I’m going to ask him about that.”

The deleted cell phone video that forensic experts were able to recover showed the time as 2:50 a.m. April 4, according to the complaint. The unresponsive female in the video was identified as the victim who reported the rape, the complaint said. It was unclear if the taping of the assault could result in charges against Daniels. Prosecutors said the taping of a crime isn’t a crime unless there is evidence of participation by the camera operator.

The woman told her dorm roommates, as well as two of her co-workers, that she believed she had been raped, according to the complaint. The co-workers urged her to go to hospital for a sexual assault exam, which she did, the complaint said.

Dr. Stephen Smith, an expert on sexual assaults facilitated by drugs and alcohol, told investigators that, given the amount of vodka and the victim’s size and weight, she would have had a blood alcohol level of at least 0.30 percent. That translates, he said, to a “stupor,” according to the complaint.

Now in his junior year, Dominic Jones is a cornerback from Columbus, Ohio, who was second on the team in tackles last season. He also was the team’s primary kick returner, running back 32 kickoffs and 19 punts. He appeared in all 13 games.

A university spokesman said the four men have been suspended from the football team, but they remain students at the U.

The charge against Dominic Jones was “disappointing news for our entire team,” U football coach Tim Brewster said in a written statement.

“The conduct alleged in this case does not reflect the expectations and aspirations that the University has for its student-athletes or any of its students,” said Joel Maturi, director of athletics, in a written statement. “Accordingly, appropriate disciplinary action will be considered as we gain more information.”

University Village is a privately owned complex partially leased by the university. The apartment where the assault allegedly occurred was in the university-leased section.

Massey, Daniels and E.J. Jones were moved to other housing after the incident.

The woman, 18, was a college student but did not attend the University of Minnesota, Freeman said.

Tad Vezner and Ray Richardson contributed to this story.

Emily Gurnon can be reached at egurnon@pioneerpress.com or 612-338-6516.

– Smitty, 7-19-07

Shhhh - Don’t Tell Anyone !!

Wednesday, July 4th, 2007

“We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally.”

– Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

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MY “TONGUE-IN-CHEEK” COLLECTION OF “LITTLE-KNOWN” QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS POSED TO AND ABOUT THE CURRENT CROP OF DEM CANDIDATES AND “LEADERS” OVER THE YEARS !!

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Hillary’s Personality: An assessment from a close friend
Well, let’s face it, she’s not Mother Teresa. Gandhi would have strangled her.

– Ken Kessler (Ruthless People, 1986)
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Question posed to Joe Biden at a rally
Are you crazy or just plain stupid?

– Mrs. Blue, Bubba’s Mother (Forrest Gump, 1994)
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Overheard at a Christopher Dodd Press Conference:
Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking… don’t they?

– The Scarecrow (Wizard of Oz, 1939)
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Hillary as President - Experts discuss the impact:
Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, “biblical”?
Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes…
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.

– Ghostbusters, 1984
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First impressions of the entire Dem lineup during the 1st Dem Debate:
They’re desperate. This is less exciting than a “CHIPs” reunion.

– Triumph The Insult Comic Dog
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Question posed to Al Gore at a press conference:
You behave as if stupidity were a virtue. Why is that ??

– Heinrich Dorfmann (The Flight of the Phoenix, 1965)
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John Edwards, lectured on his fading political prospects:
Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.

– Lt. Frank Drebbin (Naked Gun 2 1/2, 1991)
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Question posed to Dennis “Moonbeam” Kucinich from a very concerned psychiatrist:
What color is the sky in your world?

– Dr. Frasier Crane (Cheers)
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Question posed to John Kerry:
Do you have the slightest idea what a moral and ethical principle is? Do you?

– Jack Torrance (The Shining, 1980)
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Debate question posed to Howard Dean:
Can I borrow your doctor’s diploma? They are a little short in the latrine.

– Hawkeye (MASH)
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A Recollection of the 2004 Democratic Convention:
It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It’s worse than Detroit.

– Ted Striker (Airplane, 1980)
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Advice given to Bill Richardson:
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

– Dean Vernon Wormer (Animal House, 1978)
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Comment to Barack Obama from an old girlfriend:
It only took me one night to realize if brains were dynamite you couldn’t blow your nose.

– Debbie Medway (American Graffiti, 1973)
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Overheard by 2 friends about to read the 2008 Dem Party Platform:
I won’t go schizo, will I? — Pinto
It’s a distinct possibility. — Jennings
(Animal House, 1978)
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Hillary, told while attempting to kiss a baby at a Political Rally:
Get away from her, you bitch!

– Ripley (Aliens, 1986)
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Question posed to Hillary at a campaign stop:
You ever seen a grown man naked?

– Captain Oveur (Airplane, 1980)
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Rebuttal from Hillary insisting her marriage is sincere and natural:
So is throwing up but I don’t want to look at it.

- Archie Bunker (All in the Family)
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Comment regarding Obama’s Health Care Proposal:
It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano: Sure, it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.”

– Lt. Frank Drebin (Naked Gun, 1988)
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Statement to John Edwards regarding his far left views:
You’re part of a dying breed, like people who can name all fifty states!

– Lt. Frank Drebin (Naked Gun, 1988)
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Overheard by 4 spectators during the 1st Dem debate:
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines

— Steve McCroskey (Airplane, 1980)
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Exasperated audience member in tears after the final Dem debate:
I weep for the future

– Maitre D’ (Ferris Bueller, 1986)
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Best Advice I’ve heard for getting through the Dem primary process:
My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

– Bluto (Animal House, 1978)
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– Smitty, 7-4-07