Blue Collar Muse

It had to happen sooner or later - I’m being coerced into doing a meme.

For all you guys out there, I know - the last thing they taught us in ‘Conservative Guy Blogging 101′ was:

Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you EVER do memes, Friday Funnies, Thursday 13s, cutsie, arts-fartsy sounding, self revelatory, feelings revealing or ANY other form of get-in-touch-with-your-feminine-side post. Not only are such posts proven to lower your testosterone levels, decrease the property value of your home AND the value of your portfolio but there is a clear link between such posts and erectile dysfunction - consider Bob Dole for goodness sakes!

Should you be ever be tempted to violate this prohibition, failing to consider what it will do to your standing among CMBWD (Conservative Male Bloggers for World Dominance) and failing to remember its impact on the general social order, please call your instructor requesting emergency deprogramming. When your contact answers, you’ll likely be under too much stress to be coherent so all you need do is give the code for your situation. Simply call out, “2319! 2319!” and an EGPRTT (Emergency Girly Post Response Trauma Team) will be dispatched.

I tried to call but got a recording that my instructor himself had succumbed to this ubiquitous, feminizing menace. He survived his brush with his feminine side and is said to be in stable condition thanks solely to a quick thinking male passerby and massive testosterone replacement therapy.

I’m alone … down to my last bullet. My will to live overpowers my shame at what I cannot do to myself and what I am about to do to the cause. Don’t hate me because I’m weak … remember that you, too, could become me under the right circumstances. CMBWDers … I’m sorry …

I … cannot … resist … any … longer … I … must … meme … May god have mercy on my soul …

My new internet friend Debbie, over at Right Truth, tagged me with this … **sigh**

It’s a meme, but it’s a good way to learn about fellow bloggers deep, dark secrets…

The Rules: Players start with 8 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts. Players should tag eight other people and notify them that they have been tagged.

1) At age 50, I am the oldest person in my family and have been for almost 15 years. All my parents and grandparents are gone. Fortunately, my in-laws are the coolest …

2) My beautiful wife, M’Lady K, is 11 years younger than me. We have endless fun teasing our kids with this. Pointing out a 7 year old at the mall to my 18 year old son and noting that when I was his age his mother was that old never fails to produce both satisfying and interesting responses.

3) We have 5 wonderful kids -boy, girl, girl, girl, boy. When pregnant we never knew what sex the child would be until they arrived. For reasons which are yet unclear to me, it was VERY important to me to have a boy first. When my mother-in-law (in a couple of her RARE uncool moments) suggested I’d be happy with a healthy girl I opined that I’d rather have a boy with 9 fingers and 8 toes.

4) Our oldest was born at the hospital via C-section. #2 was at the hospital with an epidural. #3 was at the hospital with no drugs. #s 4 and 5 were born at home with the services of a midwife. #4 in the middle of my bed and #5 in the middle of the living room floor. The funniest part was ordering pizza RIGHT after #5 was born and when the delivery guy got there telling him we were celebrating a recent birth, **pointing** right over there, and watching his reaction.

Random aside - NEVER mess with M’Lady K - she is more of a man than I will ever be …

5) While I REALLY like being self employed, my education and degrees were in preparation for ministry. I have a BA in Religion/Philosophy and half completed an MDiv program (Master of Divinity) at a world famous seminary in Southern California.

6) I drive a BIG Ford F-250 for work and pull a loaded trailer around most of the day. At just 11 MPG, I currently spend $6,000 to $7,000 per year just for fuel and they tell me that’s going to get worse. Since I hate the cold, I’m happy to do my part for man made Global Warming. Even now I’m trying to figure out how to attach aerosol cans to the roof of my truck with auto-sprayers to increase my contribution even further. No need to thank me … it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for all of us …

7) I voted for Jimmy Carter … mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa … I take complete and personal responsibility for outing the Bush Administration as the ‘…worst in history!’ May God have mercy on my soul …

Despite all my earlier blathering about this meme, it was sorta fun. That does NOT, however, mean that I’ll be doing another one anytime soon … a man can only take so much humiliation before cracking under the pressure and, as I’m required by law to remind you, I support the 2nd Ammendment!

On to the poor unfortunates I’ve chosen to tag using my evil, Haliburtonesque influence to subtly undermine their reason and cause them to do my bidding … BWAHAHAHAHAHA … the power!!!!

1 -James Whittington over at (oddly enough) James Whittington
2 - Sam Pierce at Conservative Common Man
3 - Steve - the Big Idea Guy at Target Rich Environment

OK - those are the only 3 people that I think I have a SNOWball’s chance of getting to do this. The rest are just a sort of wish list … I don’t even know if they READ my blog. Thus, any punitive measures for lack of participation should be directed at them. Remember, we’re all consenting Conservative adults here and individual, personal responsibility is a hallmark of our ideology …

4 - ALa over at Blonde Sagacity
5 - Eric over at Hegemonic Pundit
6 - Karl over at Leaning Straight Up
7 - Eric over at Eric Odom’s Blog How about that one post a week thing, pal …
8 - Hillary over at Hillary for President Hey … she might get elected ya’ know and it never hurts to suck up a little to hedge one’s bets …

Thanks in advance to all who participate … pardon me while I go be ill …

Thinking I’ll NEVER live this down …

Blue Collar Muse

Trackposted to Perri Nelson’s Website, Blog @ MoreWhat.com, A Blog For All, The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns, stikNstein… has no mercy, Adam’s Blog, Blue Star Chronicles, Planck’s Constant, Cao’s Blog, The Bullwinkle Blog, Colloquium, The Florida Masochist, Conservative Cat, Right Voices, and Gone Hollywood, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

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