Conservative Common Man

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070504/ap_on_re_us/clinton_disaster_conference_2

 I read the article in the above link while scanning the Drudge Report this evening. I was curious what Bill Clinton would see as a looming disaster. I don’t think the article revealed what the former president might view as truly disastrous so I thought I would fill in the gaps.

Disasters on a personal level:

• Hillary wins the presidency in 2008 and she somehow creates a legacy that is better than his own.
• Hillary wins the presidency in 2008 and he has to become more discreet in his dating or risk incurring her wrath. (Not that she cares about his affairs, but one must maintain appearances.)
• Hillary wins the presidency in 2008 and upon moving back into the White House, he finds dates harder to come by with the D.C. Madame being out of business.
• He finds he has not restocked his humador.
• Hillary wins the presidency in 2008 and a controversy erupts in which he must testify as to what the meaning of “is” is. (Fortunately the main-stream media only reports a viscious attack by the vast right-wing conspiracy.)

Disasters in his new role as ambassador to the world:

• He finds that in countries with which the new President Clinton has good relations, he has a more difficult time having “relations.” Apparently Hillary has asked the governments of these countries to keep him from embarassing her while inside their borders.
• He finds that his cigar tricks are not welcome in all nations.
• He finds that in some countries, the leadership does not respect him due to his role as a subordinate to his wife. (On the bright side some of these nations don’t care about Hillary’s image and allow him to visit their brothels.)

 Disasters related to a Hillary Clinton presidency:

• Hillary gets socialized medicine established in the United States and he finds that every time he needs to get checked for certain “social” diseases he must wait weeks or even months. (At this point he really feels the burn.)
• Hillary reduces his Secret Service detail since once she achieves the presidency, she really has no further use for him.
• Hillary insists that she not be denied the respect that other presidents had been shown, thus she demands Bill be referred to as the first lady.

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