Sep 08 2007
Breck Girl wants to wrap the planet in a bumper sticker
From My Way News: (via Drudge Report)
“NEW YORK (AP) - Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards is proposing an international organization to fight terrorism through shared intelligence - cooperation that he says will combat the dangers facing the United States where President Bush has failed.“
The hairspray must’ve soaked in through the thick skull of Mr. Edwards and affected his memory. Apparently “the global war on terrorism” is not only more that a bumper sticker, we also need to create a world-wide organization dedicated to fighting the former slogan subject. Intelligence will also be shared via this prospective organization.
Rumor has it that The Breck Girl, herself wants to be the first to share intelligence. Edwards, sticking to his area of expertise, wants to use taxpayer resources to let Osama Bin Laden know of a better way to dye his hair and beard.
So now we know how the spirit channeling former predatory lawyer would handle the issue of global terrorism: beauty tips for caves without mirrors. He may even be willing to, at taxpayer expense, fly his Beverly Hills beautician to suspected terror training camps around the globe. This is bound to have a positive effect on the war versus terror. After all, if the terrorists feel pretty they may not want to mess up their hair via suicide bombings!
If this doesn’t work Edwards still has a couple of options. He may tell his wife that the terrorists agree with Ann Coulter and sit back as Elizabeth gives the unsuspecting jihadists a tongue-lashing on Hardball with Chris “Rabid” Mathews. If all else fails he will send the terrorists crates of tangerines that weren’t grown in the Middle East, thus making the terrorists feel guilty about the carbon expelled in the transport of their tasty snack.
Sam -
Wow! Someone must have pushed a couple of your buttons, bro. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you quite this worked up.
Excellent piece, mind you!
My only question for Edwards is, “And just how long do you think your info sharing program will last?” We had one of those in place that was working well and leading to the capture and economic hurt for the Bad Guys of the world until the New York Times, after 30 seconds of soul searching, decided should be outed and ruined. I haven’t taken the time to see if Senator Edwards condemned that leaking of classified material but I suspect I wouldn’t be surprised to find the answer if I did.
Blue Collar Muse
His next step should be a blue ribbon committee to explore the possibility of getting Osama and other Islamic radicals to sit cross-legged in a circle with him and his cabinet and talk about their feelings.
BCM,
Excellent point, I am sure we wouldn’t be shocked to find out how he may have reacted to the NY Times treason you speak of.
John,
The only problem with that is that he might not think sitting cross-legged is very lady-like.
Sam