Conservative Common Man

I have been saddened to hear and read cries for the government to interfere in the personal lives of the people that live in this country. One such cry to emulate Hugo Chavez comes from the business section of the L.A. Times:

One way to balance government assistance to participants in the credit crisis — whether it’s branded a bailout or a rescue — is to link it to tighter regulation of lenders and borrowers.

These can include strict capital requirements for investment banks that have accepted Fed money, underwriting standards for mortgages and consumer loans to prevent imprudent lending and borrowing, and mandated disclosures of the risks of various loans and bundled securities.

The Washington Post takes a different approach, painting the mortgage situation as unfairly targeting poor hispanics that do not speak English (and apparently have no common sense.) In an article that should be read to sad violin music, titled “My House. My Dream. It Was All an Illusion.” the subtitle sets the tone:

Latina’s Loss in Va. Epitomizes Mortgage Crisis

I say we shouldn’t limit government interference to the current mortgage situation. People that entered into mortgages they couldn’t repay shouldn’t be the only ones to have their mistakes paid for by the taxpayers of this country. The possibilities for government interference see almost limitless. If we can just convince the federal and state governments to … well stay on their current paths, we can realize the socialist utopia that would make most Democrat politicians proud. Perhaps if the following suggestions are followed Michelle Obama might even be proud of her country.

I humbly ask that the United States government cut through the red tape and take the following actions (or interferences:)

• Some college students enroll in classes that are too difficult for them. Their grades might be lower than some of their peers. This cannot be allowed to continue! We need The Department of Education to commission a study to determine the best method for grade equalization. Once the commission presents its findings to Congress, a law should be crafted to ensure that sufficient funds are directed to these institutions of mediocre learning to enable them to assign every student identical grades.

• Some people lie on their resumes and accept jobs that they are not qualified to perform. Should these people be forced to leave those jobs once their incompetence is proven? Absolutely not! We are not humane if we allow these people to be cast from their positions by ruthless employers who expect to hire competent employees. The Department of Labor must commission a study to determine the best way to enable all job-seekers to use one universal resume. In addition, Congress must pass a law setting employment standards that eliminate qualifications as qualifications for employment.

• What about people that buy a dozen eggs at their local grocery stores only to get them home and drop them on the driveway? What is to protect their investment? The Department of Commerce should obviously make recommendations to Congress requiring that the retailer be responsible for the safety of the eggs until the moment of consumption!

• Some people fall victim to the climate and anthropogenic global warming when they purchase large ice cream cones that they cannot consume entirely before they begin to melt. Government action must be taken to ensure that the responsibility for the wasted ice cream and sticky hands be held by the predatory ice cream vendors!

We must take the steps necessary to ensure that we, the people bear no personal responsibility for any of our own actions. Working together we can ensure that we will all be wards of the state, taken care of and controlled by Mrs. Hillary-care Clinton or Mr. B. Hussein Obama.

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