Conservative Common Man

The Washington Post can always be counted on for at least two things, free advertising for Barack Obama (under the guise of articles and editorials) and immigration sob stories designed to portray illegal aliens and people that refuse to learn English as helpless of victims of the evil that is The United States of America.

I can’t help but struggle to comprehend the mammoth contradiction that is the immigration sob story. Why on earth would the immigrants willingly immigrate to such an awful place? Why on earth would they leave the culture they adore for a land with such an apparent lack of opportunity? Who, in his right mind, leaves the land of milk and honey for the desolate wastelands of another nation? I am truly perplexed, this country is supposed to be such an awful place to live, yet all these people flock here from around the world and people like Alec Baldwin break their promises to leave.

Now we hear of the latest plague upon the victims of our society. This plague is even worse than Alec Baldwin not keeping his word. The Washington Post paints the grim portrait in, “Move to Digital TV Faces Language Barrier“:

Hispanic viewers make up about one-third of the U.S. households that rely on antennas to receive over-the-air broadcasts, according to a survey by Knowledge Networks/SRI Home Technology Monitor.

And according to a May report released by Nielsen, Hispanic households are among the least prepared for the transition. There are about 608,000 Hispanic residents in the Washington region, according to 2006 estimates by the Census Bureau.

Local Spanish-language broadcasters are trying to get the word out about the digital switch, but some are worried that their viewers will wait until the last minute to take the necessary steps to keep watching TV, putting the stations’ ratings and advertising dollars at risk.

So we have a victim class that can be defined by their ethnicity and language, let us ignore the notion of individual responsibility and redistribute some wealth here. As Barack’s favorite uncle, Karl (Marx) would say, “to each according to his need and from each according to his ability.” Instead of focusing on why these people refuse to learn English or even why they feel entitled to TV, entities such as WaPo do their part to maintain the socialist liberal voting block that is a victim class requiring handouts. Apparently the taxpayer subsidized handouts:

The FCC has been hosting town hall meetings around the country and distributing educational materials in multiple languages, with particular emphasis on Spanish. And the National Telecommunications and Information Administration, which is in charge of distributing government-subsidized $40 coupons to help consumers pay for converter boxes that typically cost $50 to $80, operates a Spanish-language hotline that fields about 40 percent of the total calls to the agency. IBM, which is under contract to run the NTIA’s call centers, is hiring more operators fluent in Spanish.

aren’t good enough:

Community groups worry that Spanish-speaking viewers still may be left behind. The Rev. Luis Cortés Jr., president of Esperanza USA, a faith-based organization in Philadelphia that has tried to get the word out about the transition, said he suspects that many people with limited incomes won’t bother to apply for a converter-box coupon until their TVs don’t work.

“Their eyes glaze over when you say digital because it means nothing to them — they don’t have computers, they don’t have iPods,” he said. “The only national media vehicle in Spanish is TV.”

Obviously the solution has four components. First, we subsidize the purchase of computers and iPods for every resident, legal or otherwise, that does not understand English. Second, we force English speaking citizens to pass a Spanish proficiency test within the next 12 months and fine those that are not fluent. Third, all broadcasting is switched to the Spanish language since the host nation should assimilate to the language of immigrants and obviously not the other way around (naturally we ignore all languages other than Spanish unless CAIR begins to complain about the mistreatment on non-Spanish speaking Muslims.) Fourth, and perhaps most urgent, we deploy a task force to force Alec Baldwin to keep his promise.

One must wonder if our founding fathers intended a system of vote buying such as the one that exists in modern times. Pander to and maintain a variety of victim classes to ensure that no one rise above the status of victim-hood. As long as these victims rely on the handouts you forcibly take from the productive to redistribute among the victims, you can rely on the votes and support of those victims.

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