I know I said I wasn’t going to blog this week, but I just saw this article at the Terri Schindler Schiavo Foundation website and wanted to get a quick post out.
As most of you know, Bobby Schindler came to speak at Cornell in March this year, and it really changed the way I approach euthanasia as a pro-life issue. I was obviously anti-euthanasia before, but had always prioritized abortion as my issue to fight against. The Schindler family’s personal story about their struggle to save their daughter/sister’s life really showed me that all threats to life at any stage are equally important.
June 22, 2007 (North Country Gazette)
New studies show a high rate of misdiagnosis and inaccuracy in patients deemed to be in a persistent vegetative state and researchers say that the findings are grounds for “extreme caution” in decisions that might “limit the life chances” of patients, according to a report issued in News-Medical.net.
The latest study conducted by Belgium researchers indicates that around a quarter of the patients in an acute vegetative state when they are first admitted to the hospital have a good chance of recovering a significant proportion of their faculties and up to a half will regain some level of consciousness, Belgium researchers have determined.
Another study shows that around 40% of the patients were wrongly diagnosed as in a vegetative state when they in fact registered the awareness levels of minimal consciousness.
According to the study as reported by News-Medical.net, comparing past studies on this issue shows that the level of misdiagnosis has not decreased in the last 15 years.
Read More From North Country Gazette . . .
Just more proof of the deadly misinformation propagated by the mainstream media during the fight for Terri’s life.
Sphere: Related Content
Gosh- I was so upset when that whole things was going on. the misdiagnoses thing really upsets me.
It seems to me that <em>persistent vegetative state</em> is simply a medical sounding term that gives doctors and families the right to snuff out the lives of individuals who are powerless to stop it.
PS. When did you post this? I thought we went to bed at the same time and when I left the house this morning you were asleep?
Ooh, gonna have to disagree with the Wyoming syndicate again. You can’t come out of those situations without being mentally retarded. I would MUCH rather die than be mentally handicapped. MUCH MUCH MUCH. If someone started off like that, it’s a different story, but to have had intelligence and lose it? It’s just wrong. Kill them. Humanely and quickly. Let them get to what’s next (insert your religion here).
I know the last time I disagreed with you ladies (about Ann Coulter), you successfully convinced me that you were right. But not this time. It’s almost <i>evil</i> to keep these people alive. Let them go. We’ll make more.
MZ - I thought it upset me when it was going on, but after listening to Bobby Schindler just talk about his family and everything… words really cannot express! It put a personal face on the whole situation, making it more than a news story, more than a political issue. It really is sad.
Mom - I posted it yesterday afternoon.
Kevin -
First of all, if you would rather die than be mentally handicapped, I suggest you write a note to yourself in case that ever happens, reminding yourself to just go jump off a bridge.
I know we’ve disagreed before, but I have to admit, that’s a pretty offensive argument you’re making. Are you saying that the lives of “these people”, the mentally retarded, are really that much less valuable than us “normal” folks? Intelligence is not what determines a valuable life. There have been some pretty “intelligent” people that I would like to euthanize right now: abortionists, rapists, Democrats, etc.
You can talk about living wills and not wanting to be left on artificial life support, and that’s a completely different issue. Still, the thing about the Terri Schiavo case is that it really wasn’t about artificial life support. It was about a feeding tube. Since when has feeding someone been dragging their life out needlessly? Should we stop feeding newborn infants as well with that logic?
And the fact is, no one knew if Terri wanted to be kept alive or not. Her “husband” Michael never even brought up that claim until nearly 10 years into the whole process. He was lying. Why was he lying? Because he had been shacking up with another woman and had two kids with her. He also stood to gain financially if Terri died. Terri’s family had always been a strong Catholic family and very pro-life. Her family and friends could not imagine Terri saying the things Michael said she did. Her family valued Terri’s life no matter what her mental or physical capacity and they wanted to care for her.
In these situations, there absolutely must be a priority placed on the value of life. It’s kind of cliche, but only right that we aim to err on the side of life. Killing off critically injured / comatose people because they *might* end up mentally retarded, just because we don’t think we would like to be in that situation? That attitude is rooted purely in selfishness, and I would argue that’s what’s evil.
Looking at Kate Adamson’s video http://blogs.abcnews.com/picturefinalists/ I just cann’t understand why people like Kevin would want to kill her. Does not make sense to me.
*sigh* Kevin — you are the most off base you could possibly be. I agree with Tieki — write yourself a note, but never suggest killing someone because they are less intelligent — even if they <em>had it before</em> so to speak.
I’d like to say that I have nothing for respect for either you or Tammi. I mean that. I’ve agreed with you in almost all cases, and I’m loathe to disagree with a lady in <i>any</i> case. I’d hate to think we could fall out over this, but I feel obligated to disagree. With passion. I’m a conservative with a 180 degree differing view from the Wyoming syndicate (that’s the two of you). I hope you can forgive me, and still consider me a friend, internetwise.
<i>”First of all, if you would rather die than be mentally handicapped, I suggest you write a note to yourself in case that ever happens, reminding yourself to just go jump off a bridge.”</i>
It’s in my living will. It’s not negotiable, and my wife chose the same statement. We haven’t burdened the kids with this info, but we’re fairly ardent about it and sure they’ll abide by it.
<i>”Are you saying that the lives of “these people”, the mentally retarded, are really that much less valuable than us “normal” folks?”</i>
I am saying <i>exactly</i> that :(. I make a distinction between naturally occurring mental retardation and the once intelligent people destined to become vegetables if they are kept alive, but yes. I think those latter people should be allowed to die. I’ve no opinion on those born that way, other than to assume they should stay alive if they are capable of… say, eating.
I sincerely hope that I will be allowed to pass if I get in that position. I hope you guys aren’t trying to stop my ability to do so. Are you?
<i>”Intelligence is not what determines a valuable life. “</i>
We disagree. I think it does. I’m not saying ‘kill mentally retarded people’. I’m saying ‘allow people, who if we saved, would end up mentally retarded, to die.’ It’s a significant difference.
<i>”You can talk about living wills and not wanting to be left on artificial life support, and that’s a completely different issue.”</i>
It’s not. It’s the exact same issue. And the idea is horrible, but quite important. No one wants to be taken off of life support because they would hate being in a coma for a while. They (well, me at least) want to be taken off life support because they don’t want to live with an incapacitating mental disability, and/or don’t want to be a burden on their family.
<i>”Still, the thing about the Terri Schiavo case is that it really wasn’t about artificial life support. It was about a feeding tube. Since when has feeding someone been dragging their life out needlessly?”</i>
I’ve no opinion about that other than to say that if it was ME, I’d prefer to die. I’m fairly sure I could not do that if it was Jenny, even though she made sure to clarify that request in a legal document that this is what she wanted.
Tammi said:
<i>”…but never suggest killing someone because they are less intelligent — even if they had it before so to speak.”</i>
I would NEVER suggest killing someone based upon their IQ. But I <i>am</i> saying that it’s ok to let them die, if they’ve lost mental capacity. Do you ladies see a difference in those two statements? I’m not being facetious. I really want to know.
I guess it sounds cold, what I’m saying. But it’s really not. It’s like putting an old dog down. Crushingly painful, but a good thing. And yup, I’m equating allowing newly retarded people to die with killing dogs. Horrible, huh? Yes, both are very horrible, but we loved and love them all. To reiterate: Severe mental retardation such as we saw in Terri… let them go.
But why force either of them to live? I hate to put forth my religious views, but why not let them go to that next plateu? I for one am kind of looking forward to it! (Not trying to rush it though.)
Sorry this was so rambling. But it’s a pretty big deal.
HORRIBLY sorry that was so long. I blame society.
MY wife knows to keep me alive!…lol
Hi Kevin,
First of all, I still consider us to be friends even though we have polar opposite views on this subject. However, if I ever hear about you going around and killing all the mentally retarded people in the world, you will have to answer to me, and I won’t be nearly this friendly.
Listen, I’m not saying that anyone <em>wants</em> to be mentally retarded. Just like no one wants to fall 30 feet and end up with an artificial elbow, or no one wants to be in a car accident that leaves them paralyzed from the waist down. Are those lives less valuable because they are physically less capable than the rest of us? Obviously not. How can you possibly say anything different about people who are mentally less capable than others?
They are still valuable human beings. They enjoy their lives, they love other people, and other people love them. I don’t want to make this a personal issue, but I do think there are cases where personalizing an issue can be helpful.
When I was little, my mom’s sister was my absolute favorite aunt ever. She would never say no when I wanted to play barbies, she loved to watch the same movies I did, and she would always make up stories with me and play whenever I wanted to play. My Aunt Teresa was mentally retarded, but she loved life and she loved her family. She wasn’t born retarded. Until she was 21 months old, she was one of the smartest babies ever. She knew her ABCs before she was 1 year old, she could speak in full sentences soon after. She was potty trained, and so much more. She got really sick around 21 months, contracted a high fever, and by the time it was over, doctors were calling her a vegetable and telling my grandparents to just put her in an institution. They refused. She grew up to be the most loving, happiest person and she made everyone around her happy as well. She lived a full life until she was 40 when she was killed in a freak accident in the early 90’s.
No, she didn’t live the same sort of life that non-retarded people live. But does that mean that we should have put her down like a sick dog when she was two years old? No freaking way. I’m sure it must have been very difficult for my grandparents to raise a mentally retarded child. And I can’t be sure, but it must have been terribly frightening for a little girl who was “normal” just months before to be so sick and then completely different mentally.
Kevin, you and your wife are completely entitled to do whatever you want in your living will. Although, I’m not exactly sure how you’re going to convince a medical professional to shoot you if your only problem is mental retardation. I’m pretty sure we haven’t quite reached that level, though we’re probably close.
All I’m saying is, we have to err on the side of life when we don’t know what people’s wishes are. In any case, who are we to decide life and death issues for people who have not clarified what they would prefer? We should kill them all, just in case? Um, no.
Furthermore, I stand firmly by my statement that a feeding tube is NOT artificial life support. We have to feed weaker members of our society, that does NOT mean that we’re “artificially” keeping them alive like a respiratory machine or something.
We have to provide a lot of care for members of society who cannot care for themselves. Young children, elderly people, physically challenged, and mentally challenged. I firmly believe that all of those lives are just as valuable as people who may be physically and mentally perfectly healthy. In fact, I would say that mentally healthy individuals tend to be far MORE evil and cruel than mentally retarded people. If anything, let’s kill off all the bad “perfect” people first.
Sorry if this is rambly and disorganized. It’s something I feel passionately strong about. I would rather die a thousand horrible deaths than be a member of a society who thinks it’s okay to kill the weak members of our societies simply because we wouldn’t want to be weak.
TT - that’s good.
When the Terri Schiavo situation was going on and everyone was saying they wouldn’t want to be a burden, my best friend Ashley and I wanted to make t-shirts or something that say “I want to be a burden!” That’s been our motto ever since. I’ve told my family that if they ever unplug me, I absolutely will come back and make their lives miserable. They’re gonna think burden, haha.
<i>”First of all, I still consider us to be friends even though we have polar opposite views on this subject.”</i>
I’m calling this phrase ‘the reason why conservatives rock’.
<i>”However, if I ever hear about you going around and killing all the mentally retarded people in the world, you will have to answer to me, and I won’t be nearly this friendly.”</i>
You won’t, unless they are relatives, and have expressly asked for such treatment, and even then, maybe not. I can’t imagine doing it for a single relative. BUT THEY BETTER DO IT TO ME!
In fact, I’m bound (via lawyery documents) to cause the death of my sister, mother and two friends (they have no kids to pawn this off on), should the above circumstances arise. So yeah, I’ve thought about this issue. A lot. Heck, I like all four of them! But I’ll do my duty if that horrible day ever comes.
<i>”Listen, I’m not saying that anyone wants to be mentally retarded. Just like no one wants to fall 30 feet and end up with an artificial elbow…”</i>
To me, this is like comparing apples to mental retardation. The part of us that is brain contains our soul. This is my belief. Crushing that chrushes our souls, and removes the need for us to stay on Earth.
“Just like no one wants to fall 30 feet and end up with an artificial elbow, or no one wants to be in a car accident that leaves them paralyzed from the waist down. Are those lives less valuable because they are physically less capable than the rest of us? Obviously not. How can you possibly say anything different about people who are mentally less capable than others?”
You have flipped to comparing physical disabilities with mental ones, but… heck yeah, those lives are less valuable, simply because they are physically less capable, as you said. If you had to choose life or death for them, definitely pick the least mangled from the bunch. Luckily, we don’t have do decide such things often.
But with MENTALLY handicapped people, we often do, and it’s a wildly different story. It’s no way to live.
<i>”Kevin, you and your wife are completely entitled to do whatever you want in your living will. Although, I’m not exactly sure how you’re going to convince a medical professional to shoot you if your only problem is mental retardation.”</i>
No life support, no feeding tube. It’s all very legal. Unless we can find a way to eat on our own, we’re going to visit our maker!
I love your passion for life, tieki, and your mom’s too. It’s possibly your coolest feature (from an internet perspective). I just may not share it. I’m firmly in the ‘life is is great if you’ve got brainpower’ crowd. Take that away, and I’m not such a fan. I see little value to living, without your mind.
youre right!…misinformation abounds!…….great read.:)
I’ve asked some religious people to expound. And I hope they do (two of them are geniuses on matters regarding God). As I said in my RFC, I <i>know</i> I’m the bad guy in this argument. I’m just wondering, ‘how bad’? Because my position hasn’t changed. Kill them, as a favor. I can’t stress how much I mean that. Is death <i>always</i> a bad thing?
No, Kevin, death isn’t always a bad thing. But murder is. And like I said, you can do whatever you want to in your living will, but to try to say that the rest of society should be forced to do the same against their will or without knowing what their will is — that’s murder, through and through. And in my opinion, it’s one of the most evil kinds of murder. Killing someone just because you don’t think that their lives are worth living… I don’t know, that’s just sick to me. If you don’t want to be mentally retarded, then don’t be! But don’t try to determine the worth of other people’s lives based on that.
And since you asked, I have to admit, in my opinion you’re about as far up on the “bad guy” scale as possible in this issue… which surprises me. I just can’t reiterate it enough, it disgusts me that our society is so freaking self-absorbed that we refuse to care for our weaker friends and family members. It’s wrong. It’s sick. And it’s evil.
To sum up, surely we can agree that misinformation abounded in the Terri Schiavo case? That’s really what this article is about. She was not a vegetable. Her “husband” just wanted to kill her.
Whether or not you think her life was worth living, don’t you think that’s something she should decide? Or, at worst, her family? Surely you don’t believe that her adulterous lying bastard of a husband really had the right to starve her to death over a period of 13 days?
“To sum up, surely we can agree that misinformation abounded in the Terri Schiavo case? “
Please don’t hold this against me, But I have absolutely no firm opinion about this case. But, as an unknowing stranger, I would have killed her (I’m not pulling punches and renaming ‘killing’ like an abortionist would. I would have KILLED her… i.e. purposely caused her death.) Perhaps you could say I was advocating murder! But I would call it ‘allowing a ruined human to move on’. I hope she would have killed me as a return favor.
Unless I’m religiously wrong, I can’t back off. I think I’m right.
“I hope she would have killed me as a return favor.” Uh, were I disabled mentally. An important caviat, I guess.
Well, I guess that’s that, Kevin. If you’re ever mentally disabled (assuming you’re not already) I’ll be the first one to pull the plug or do whatever else is necessary to help you avoid such a horrific lifestyle.
It is quite late here (I don’t normally stay up past 10:00) so I’m just going to ask a quick question of Kevin, and then I’m going to go to sleep. And that question is:
What makes a human life valuable?
le
That’s a pretty big assumption, tieki!
“What makes a human life valuable?”
Tieki’s post made me realize that I don’t know the answer to this question. And I want to. It’s why I asked you to comment. If I could put words in Tieki Rae’s mouth, I think she’s saying ‘life’ is what makes human life valuable. And I’m saying the brain is what makes human life valuable.
Apparently, I’m being an idiot, since I haven’t gotten a single person to agree with me in either voice or print. I seem to be the only person who wants to punch out quick if my mind is taken.
This was a VERY enlightening post, Ms. Rae.
Hi Le, thanks for visiting.
Kevin,
Just to let you know, I’m going to be traveling all day so I won’t be able to follow my blog/comments. I’m really interested, though, in providing you with a few scriptures that emphasize the value of life simply because it is life. I usually use these scriptures to show why abortion is unbiblical, but I do think that the root issue in each of them is life as created by God and therefore valuable. Only being valuable while possessing intelligence is never a qualifier in God’s Word.
At the most basic level, we are created in the image of God (Gen. 1:126-27, reemphasized in Gen. 9:6). Our bodies are not simply our own to do with what we wish, they are temples of God (1 Cor. 6:19). We are fearfully and wonderfully made by God in the womb and all of our days are ordained by Him. (Psalm 139:13-16) I know you’re pro-life about abortion, so you should agree with that verse. I would extend it to issues like euthanasia though, because euthanasia is ending a person’s life before they naturally die. And again, I’m going to emphasize that feeding someone is NOT artificially extending a life. Newborn infants cannot feed themselves. Individuals with severe physical disabilities cannot feed themselves. Are we just dragging their lives out because we’re assisting them in eating? No. Kevin, if you think it’s okay to feed newborn infants, why isn’t it okay to feed older, yet weaker members of society?
Finally, we are supposed to rescue those being led unto slaughter (Proverbs 24:11-12) and open our mouths for the speechless, for those appointed to die (Proverbs 31:8-9).
I understand that there is no way I can make you believe that those scriptures apply to all life. However, I would really encourage you to think on why God created mankind. If it was simply to be intelligent, why didn’t He create everyone with the same degree of intelligence? Why are some people doctors and rocket scientists and others trash collectors or construction workers? Why are some people smarter in certain areas than others? Why didn’t he just wipe us out after each and every stupid mistake we’ve made? (Eating the forbidden fruit, rejecting Him after the Exodus, never trusting Him after he repeatedly keeps His Word, lying to Him, etc.) Those are stupid (read: not intelligent) things to do to a God as loving and wonderful as ours, yet He doesn’t just kill us off because of that. Okay, once in the Flood, but other than that, never as an entire race!
He made us because He loves us. Not because we’re smart. Not because we’re always in full capacity of our “intelligent brains” (if that were the case, then there wouldn’t even be the distinction between naturally occurring retardation and accident/sickness caused retardation). He just loves us.
And I have to be honest at this point, I struggle with applying those scriptures to the death penalty. As a natural person, I want every person who commits a horrific crime to die a terribly painful death. I’m just not sure how Biblical that view is. I do believe that the scriptures apply to innocent and defenseless life, thereby eliminating death row inmates as either innocent or defenseless. But still, that’s just to let you know that I believe life at its most basic level is undeniably valuable.
I hope you find those scriptures useful. I’m not always the most articulate at defending or explaining what I believe, but it really is so important to me that I have to try.
Alright, that was a really long one. Again, I’ll be switching time zones all day without internet access, so you all behave yourselves! (That means you, Kevin! ;))
I’m starting to think that I disagree with <i>everyone</i>, because I see absolutely no benefit to extending the life of mentally incapacitated people. For the world, or for the person. Further, I apply the golden rule, and hope and pray that someone would do unto me as I’m suggesting it be done to others, should that horrible scenario occur.
It’s not fair to compare a newborn to a newly retarded person, tieki. One has great potential, and one doesn’t. One can go on to accomplish great things. Can the other? Not really, if you’re being honest. I feel like it’s ok, or good to feed either. But I feel like we would be doing a good thing for the child, and a bad thing for the adult.
Also, physical impairments are not even <i>slightly</i> similar to mental ones, imo.
I want to be clear and say I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything. I’m just fishing for ideas I can latch on to. This is an unfortunately important issue.
“However, I would really encourage you to think on why God created mankind.”
That whole paragraph… good Lord! And you are only twenty years old? Hah! Man, I hate being schooled by a kid, but it’s occurring. I mostly blame Tammi for this insufference. She raised you ‘right’ (as if that was a ‘good’ thing) and now I’M taking the heat! I’ll get you Wytammic! And your little dog, too! You raise a huge question that many, including myself, are unwilling to guess at. Why Did he?
Heh. now we’ve got TWO gigantic questions… “What makes a human life valuable?” and “Why did God create mankind?” I couldn’t post such big questions myself(my site is goofy at best), but I’m insatiably awaiting the answers!
I wish I could find a way to draw other conservative bloggers here. The comments would be (and are) incredibly interesting.
“Tieki’s post made me realize that I don’t know the answer to this question. And I want to.”
Well, that’s good. I would say that it’s not “life” that makes us valuable, it is God Who makes us valuable. And He made us up and down the spectrum of mental ability and disability.
I think you need to think about this for a while. Unlike the immigration bill, you don’t have to come to a decision today. God has given you some time to consider it (I think!).
I’m not going to say anything more, because Tieki said it very well. I suggest you read the book Doug recommended (over at FDW), just to get a very solid perspective on the issue of euthanasia, a slippery slope to the gates of hell, in my perspective.
Thanks for letting me come to visit, Tieki!
le
“Why did God create mankind?”
And as far as this question goes — good one! Wow, you’re into some very deep issues that very often change the course of one’s life, if one has ears to hear. I’m anticipating a heart change soon.
I’m at work, so I can’t spend too much time blogging, but let me say, someone will probably put a post up on that question soon.
le
<blockquote>I’ll get you Wytammic! And your little dog, too!</blockquote>
Easy Kevin — I grew up in KS and I know that’s wicked witch of the west talk
Kind of related: <a href=”http://sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=6901F70B-E7F2-99DF-3648F0789D1EC063&chanID=sa003″ rel=”nofollow”>Scientists Reverse Mental Retardation in Mice</a>.
<blockquote>Kind of related: Scientists Reverse Mental Retardation in Mice.</blockquote>
I guess I’m more interested in if this would work on liberals?
Wow.
Tremendous… ALL of you and even the evil Nazi Kevin, too!
Now I wish I had more time to write, but perhaps it is better that I will have to leave the biz in the next couple of minutes and head for the ranch to meet and entertain some friends I haven’t visited with in a year. Good I will have more time to think on this.
Perhaps tonight after the feed, if I don’t over-imbibe (which I don’t plan to do, but who plans these things anyway??).
I haven’t decided if I shall post commentary here or simply create an entire post at my blog, certainly referencing this incredible post.
I have a suspicion I will have quite a bit to say. Whether that is good or bad, I don’t know… I will surely let this esteemed panel of readers/commenters decide. You see, I lived much of this entire equation, for seven and a half weeks, after my father had a severe accident and was brain damaged in 1990.
Regardless of the coming reactions to what I will have to say (and let the chips fall…), there is something I still have time to write this very second and I couldn’t possibly mean every syllable of it more intensely…
You folks, each of you, likely cannot begin to fathom the regard I have come to have for you. I don’t have to see your faces or hear your voices. You have become a gift in my life. You provide me with daily heavy lifting exercise for my brain. I have huge respect for your values, your intelligence, your comradery and especially your views. You each contribute to making me a better person and you, above all else, keep me honest.
If my experience, as I relate it to you, causes you insult or disagreement, please know it is not personal. My hope is that it will give you yet another glimpse into this extraordinarily difficult question. My encounter with this, and my opinion on the other side of it, is purely for you to ponder.
You guys ALL kick major butt.
I’ll be back… take good care… <i>Friends</i>.
Good morning… too tired after the obligatory entertaining last evening (no, not inebriated… one beer only, Officer!).
Tieki Rae, the only reason I considered posting on this at my site was because I anticipate it to be long, certainly not to steal your fire here! But there are plenty of long comments above, so I will try to be brief, and here goes…
My dad opened the cellar stairwell door to flip on the furnace switch. It was Oct. 5, 1990. His mother had died on this day in 1979 and it was a tough one for him always. He had been drinking pretty heavily according to a friend who had just left to go to the store for him, so he wouldn’t be tempted to drive there himself.
When my friend returned, he found the cellar door partly open and heard my dad groaning at the bottom of the stairs in the dark. When he switched on the light, he saw my dad at the foot of the stairwell. He had apparently lost his footing and fell the 15 feet length of the stairs. His head hit the concrete wall immediately at the bottom.
I was living in Daytona Beach at the time with my former wife. I got the call from my brother who also lived in Florida.
He told me that dad was in the Emergency Room and the doctors needed permission to perform a critical operation to relieve the pressure on his brain. He wanted me to call the doctor and make the decision according to what I was told. I was much closer to my dad than he was, and for once, he trusted my judgement… at least for the moment.
When I called, the doctor told me he had come in conscious and coherent, although combative. He knew his own name and answered questions accurately. His skull was fractured in a nearly connecting circle all around the upper third of his head. The brain was rapidly swelling and the pressure had since rendered him unconscious.
The doctor explained he was going to die without surgery. I immediately asked how he was going to be if we operated, stopped the pressure build-up and saved his life. He replied that he could not answer that, but that it was a very good sign that he had answered questions before he became unconscious… he had even written his name for them.
Faced with the uncertainty of everything except the fact he would die without attention, I authorized the operation. I did this with a big chill, because I well knew how my father felt about living incapacitated without his mind. He had emphatically, explicitly told me many, many times NOT to keep him alive in a diminished mental capacity, and ESPECIALLY on life support or a feeding tube!
My brother and I flew home that evening and were by his side the following morning.
He laid in a coma for two days. He was 77 years old, strong as a bull and appeared in his late forties until this accident. Ironically, he had fallen down the same stairs nineteen years earlier and also fractured his skull then. The damage then was significantly lesser, however.
When Dad awoke, it was my absolute worst nightmare. He could speak, but it was all gibberish. There were no connecting thoughts, he didn’t know what had happened, where he was, who he was or, most impacting, who his children were. He could not even express his confusion. Simply babble and utter nonsense.
He could not walk, he could not feed himself or clean himself. I cannot describe to you how difficult it is to recall this and accurately convey to you the details and sequence of events.
My brother went home after four days. They were not close. I stayed by his side for the duration. Dad and I were very best freinds.
Dad had always told me to “bring him a gun” if this situation was to ever occur. I had always agreed dutifully that I would honor his wishes. As a child, I never could really consider that this was a real possibility. Now I was faced with it and my haunting promised obligation to my father.
However, my father was in no condition to use a gun, or anything else for that matter. It was if he was an infant. Yet I knew of his wishes and could not escape. He was not vague about his wishes in this condition, much the same as Kevin has been here, Tieki.
The doctors told me anything could happen and it could take up to a full year or more before hope of brain healing could honestly be abandoned. Dad could swallow and, for a few weeks at least, would eat when fed.
I was alone by his side every, single day. And I resolved that I would have to allow time and carefully watch, talk to and encourage him. God needed time to make his choice, and as tough as it was to do, I had to patiently wait, pray and hope.
I brought him tape recordings of his songs he used to sing to me as a little boy and played them for him. I made sure I was there when it was time to eat, I fed him and I timed my meals with him so I could also.
Dad was a professional photographer. I brought in armloads of pictures and I showed them to him, and explained what each was. He listened to me sometimes, but it could be brief, and it was fleeting.
<B>I could not tell what he knew and understood about me and the world around him.</B>
He was physically very healthy and I realized if his brain did not heal, he could live like this for many, many years. I wondered if he realized what condition he was in but could not communicate it. He would get very agitated and frustrated. I wondered if he was remembering the promises I made to him about this and was angry because he viewed me as failing him.
I began to consider killing my own father… because he could not do it himself. I had promised him I would not allow him to live like this. The time for me to “help” my dad as I had said I would… was here. I truly hope none of you are ever in this position.
I wondered if the fact that me killing him and ruining the remainder of my life would have impacted his wishes. Would he have given up a peaceful end for himself to guarantee me a life remaining without jail? What would he do if the circumstances were reversed?
My decison was to wait, no matter how difficult, and let God decide. I did not remove myself from the duty of ending Dad’s life, I rather decided to delay it.
After six weeks, Dad stopped eating. The doctors began discussing a feeding tube. I adamantly objected and raised the roof on the place. I related Dad’s wishes and described how strongly he felt. They delayed their decision and allowed me to try to get him to eat, but assured me they would get a court order if I was unsuccessful.
I begged some venison from a dear friend, home cooked Dad a big steak, just exactly the way he loved it and brought it to him. After over a week hardly eating anything, he ate with eagerness as I fork fed him bite after bite.
The next morning when I arrived, I had the biggest shock of my life.
Dad sat straight up in bed and clearly said, “Well, for Christ’s sake, what the #@%^ are you doing here?”
I had to hold onto the door frame to keep from collapsing and I dissolved into tears. I was floored.
I said, “Dad, do you know who I am?”
He said, “Well of course I know who you are, you %$#&ing idiot!”
I asked him what my name was.
He couldn’t tell me. And then he slipped back into pure gibberish. Yet several times shortly thereafter, he would look up at me and ask very pointedly why I was there.
By day’s end, all that momentary, seeming coherence of some sort was gone again.
However, what I witnessed was clear, verbally perfect with familiar expression in every line of his face. I was energized with new, very real hope.
Another week went by, with no changes and again my father’s almost total resistance to any eating. Again I began to wonder what he knew of his condition, who I was, why I was there… and if he expected me to do as I had promised. I continued to battle the feeding tube insertion and hand fed him as he would eat.
Much to my disappointment and astonishment, Dad had never written a Living Will outlining his specific wishes. I came to the conclusion that Dad would not want me to sacrifice the rest of my life for him. He had screwed up, big time! He knew to write it but never did. Given that, I rationalized that Dad would endure whatever he was relegated to so as to protect and guarantee the well being of his own flesh and blood.
I would not take my father’s life.
The next day, on November 18th, 1990, I got a call at home as I was preparing to go visit my dad in the hospital. It was the doctor. He told me that Dad’s blood pressure had suddenly taken a very dramatic, life threatening drop and that he was unconscious. He asked me if I wished for them to pursue the source of the drop.
I realized God had made his decision and had extended his hand to help us both. I told the doctor <b>not to touch him</B>, just to keep him out of pain.
I rushed to the hospital to be by my dad’s side, but he passed away 14 minutes after I received the call from the doctor. I didn’t get to say goodbye.
I have since never been so wounded, but Dad was at peace at long last.
I don’t know how this story might change or not change anyone’s views. I will say nothing further beyond my respect for life and my perhaps overriding respect for an individual’s wishes about how they choose to live… and die.
If you want to be kept from artificial life support, whatever your definition of that is, <B>LEGALLY WRITE IT</b> and distribute many copies to your loved ones. I don’t believe in suicide, but I recognize it is also an individual choice, whether right or wrong. The only one qualified to pass judgement on a person’s actions is God himself… and He will.
Lastly, think hard before you make promises you may not be strong enough to keep.
I hope this is useful to some of you in some manner. Tieki, I really apologize for the length and detail… this is me. I know no other way. Thanks for the incredibly thought provoking post and the opportunity to respond.
God bless all of you.
Hi DI,
Sorry to hear about all you went through with your father. I really base my view on the sanctity of life on God’s Word. We can reason things out in our own hearts and minds, but when it comes down to it, I plan to follow the Lord.
I am pasting the story from 2 Samuel 1 below. It is the account of King Saul’s death. Now many can argue and try and twist this story to mean whatever they think. But I am confident that a living human has had life bestowed on them by the Creator, and ONLY the Creator can decide when that life is over.
2 Samuel 1
The Report of Saul’s Death
1 Now it came to pass after the death of Saul, when David had returned from the slaughter of the Amalekites, and David had stayed two days in Ziklag, 2 on the third day, behold, it happened that a man came from Saul’s camp with his clothes torn and dust on his head. So it was, when he came to David, that he fell to the ground and prostrated himself.
3 And David said to him, “Where have you come from?”
So he said to him, “I have escaped from the camp of Israel.”
4 Then David said to him, “How did the matter go? Please tell me.”
And he answered, “The people have fled from the battle, many of the people are fallen and dead, and Saul and Jonathan his son are dead also.”
5 So David said to the young man who told him, “How do you know that Saul and Jonathan his son are dead?”
6 Then the young man who told him said, “As I happened by chance to be on Mount Gilboa, there was Saul, leaning on his spear; and indeed the chariots and horsemen followed hard after him. 7 Now when he looked behind him, he saw me and called to me. And I answered, ‘Here I am.’ 8 And he said to me, ‘Who are you?’ So I answered him, ‘I am an Amalekite.’ 9 He said to me again, ‘Please stand over me and kill me, for anguish has come upon me, but my life still remains in me.’ 10 So I stood over him and killed him, because I was sure that he could not live after he had fallen. And I took the crown that was on his head and the bracelet that was on his arm, and have brought them here to my lord.”
11 Therefore David took hold of his own clothes and tore them, and so did all the men who were with him. 12 And they mourned and wept and fasted until evening for Saul and for Jonathan his son, for the people of the LORD and for the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword.
13 Then David said to the young man who told him, “Where are you from?”
And he answered, “I am the son of an alien, an Amalekite.”
14 So David said to him, “How was it you were not afraid to put forth your hand to destroy the LORD’s anointed?” 15 Then David called one of the young men and said, “Go near, and execute him!” And he struck him so that he died. 16 So David said to him, “Your blood is on your own head, for your own mouth has testified against you, saying, ‘I have killed the LORD’s anointed.’”
Hey, this should be interesting to you, Tiekei. Via Sister Toldjah.
New device wakes person in near PSV!