Armed robberies, bacterial meningitis, syphilis and HIV!  Boy, has the Ivy League gotten risqué or what?

Lately, it seems like I’ve been getting CU Police “Crime Alerts” every week or so.  Shortly following the debate about campus violence and gun control (see:  here, here, and here), a “rash of serious criminal incidents” broke out in Collegetown and on campus.  Wow, now I understand why the College Democrats and the Student Assembly did not want to push for concealed carry on campus.  I feel much safer knowing there are unknown robbers out there with guns and knives.  Better them than me!  Right?

Now, in addition to increased criminal activity, there was a “Health Alert for the Cornell community:  Concern Regarding Syphilis and HIV in Tompkins County and at Cornell” waiting for me in my inbox this morning.  The alert has its own page at Gannett’s website and is featured on CU’s “Special Conditions” page.  I have to confess, this is even more exciting than the bacterial meningitis outbreak last month.

From this morning’s email:

Gannett Health Services and the Tompkins County Health Department are working together to make the community aware of the occurrence of multiple cases of syphilis in Tompkins County, including several in the Cornell community—student, faculty, and staff.

Hahaha… but I thought educated people were responsible when they sleep around.  I thought they were above getting STDs.  After all, it’s not like we put up with any of that ridiculously ignorant “abstinence only” education crap here!

Seriously, though:  “student, faculty, and staff”?  Can someone please tell me which professors have switched over to the Department of Whoreology?  Inquiring minds want to know.