MUTH’S TRUTHS

In case you were washing your socks or doing something equally important this afternoon, you probably missed the first Democrat presidential “forum” today in my new home town of Carson City…which is to say, you didn’t miss anything. But demonstrating once again my willingness to sacrifice on your behalf, I watched it so you wouldn’t have to. A few observations:

First off, this was a public forum of the unions, by the unions and for the unions. Sponsored by AFSCME, today’s medicine show reminded the nation once again that the Democrat Party is nothing by a wholly-owned subsidiary of Big Labor. Why some Republicans continue trying to appease these people, whose sole interest is in the political destruction of the GOP, is beyond a mystery.

George Stephanopolous got the show off to a rolling start by immediately mispronouncing Nevada’s name, earning him a chorus of boos from the audience. (It’s Nevada, as in “had a” - not Nev-ah-duh.)

First out of the chute was Sen. Chris Dodd whose appearance can be summed up thusly: I made a mistake voting for the war, so now I want to cut & run. Oh, and let’s raise taxes. Onward…

Next was Madame Hillary. Let’s see, she supports taking away workers rights to a secret ballot election in union organizing drives, wants to convert private contractors into government operations, is itching for another shot at imposing HillaryCare on the nation, will make college an “entitlement,” and wants to cut & run in Iraq within 90 days.

And some people still don’t think this woman is a Lefty?

Next? Tom Vilsack, who started off by explaining that no five-year-old should ever be frightened in this country. Hear that, Booger Man?

Vilsack then said Congress should cut off funding for the Iraq operation…the same way Democrats “won” the war in Vietnam three decades ago. Talk about history repeating itself.

He also said he would cut spending on our nation’s defense in order to pay for his own version of HillaryCare. VilsackCare? It just doesn’t have the same ring.

Opie was up next. Er, I mean John Edwards and his “Aw, shucks” act.

Edwards wasted no timing sucking up to the unionistas in the audience, saying that if people can join the Republican Party just by signing a form, they should be able to join a union the same way.

Um, John Boy? When you register with a political party, you’re not required to pay dues. And nobody stands over you with a baseball bat in one hand and a set of brass-knuckles on the other asking you to “voluntarily” join the Republican Party. Just a couple of subtle differences you might want to consider.

And yes, Edwards is another Monday Morning Quarterback who was in favor of the war before he was against it. Now it’s cut-and-run from the 50 yard line.

The Breck Girl then embarked on the most curious political strategy of the day by “pulling a Mondale.” In touting his EdwardsCare plan for universal government health care, the the former senator from North Carolina said taxes would absolutely have to be raised to pay for it. The other candidates won’t tell you that, he said, without quite adding, “I just did.” But he did.

Good night, John.

Next up was the Democrat candidate who I think clearly won today’s non-debate debate, New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson.

I say that because everyone knows Barack (who was MIA) and Hillary, but the rest of the candidates were being seen today for the first time by much of the public. And compared to everyone else, Richardson’s performance probably moved him furthest up the food chain of the 2nd-tier candidates. He exhibited a sense of humor, was casual, comfortable…and long-winded. But at least it sounded like he had something to say even if you had know idea what it was.

Then again, I may have been blinded by his Ronald Reagan imitation, starting off his remarks calling on Democrats to embrace the Gipper’s 11th Commandment by signing a “no negative campaigning” pledge.

If Richardson actually thinks Madame Slash-and-Burn will voluntarily forsake the politics of personal destruction, he must be dipping into the medical peyote again.

Joe Biden bounded onto the stage next, giving every appearance of a stand-up comedian. “Hey, folks, did you hear the one about the Jew, the priest and the imam?” “Take my wife…please.” Ba-da-boom.

Biden’s another Democrat presidential candidate who was for the war before he was against it. “Hey, I made a mistake. So this duck walks into a bar…”

To give credit where credit is due, Biden was the only candidate to work his campaign’s website into his remarks. Not that anyone was rushing out to go visit it. I’m just saying…

Next, send in the clown!

Dennis Kucinich is the Democrat candidate Republicans should be cheering for. The guy is a goof, a nut and a joke. Oh, PLEASE let him be the Democrats’ nominee! Seriously, we should consider sending him a small donation to keep him in the race all the way to the bitter end.

To be fair, as Dennis pointed out, he was for cutting-and-running before cutting-and-running was cool. Unlike all his other opponents, Kucinich reminded the audience, he was smart enough not to be fooled by that fool George Bush. He voted against taking out Saddam Hussein from the get-go and now favors cutting off funding for the war effort immediately so that those greedy bastards over at Haliburton won’t be able to continue rebuilding Iraq’s infrastructure!

Dennis the Menace then explained KucinichCare as “Medicare for all.” The central premise of his plan is to abolish private, for-profit insurance companies - music to the ears, I’m sure, for all those retired stockholders with Blue Cross/Blue Shield in their portfolios.

At that point, Kucinich went di-di-di.

In his closing remarks the congressman from Ohio (they should be SO proud) stretched his arms out as though he was pretending to be an airplane - and then proceeded to spin round-and-round while chanting, “A president with no strings. A president with no strings. A president…”

If Congress ever decides to put on its own theatrical production of “The Wizard of Oz,” Kucinich is a shoe-in for the part of the Scarecrow. Di-di-di.

Bringing up the rear of today’s “donkey call” was a guy who apparently was once a United States senator from Alaska - during Teddy Roosevelt’s administration, I think - named Mike Gravel.

And to be honest, Gravel was decidedly different from the other candidates. Oh, he’s in favor of cutting-and-running; he just wants to do it constitutionally, which passes for a breath of fresh air in this crowd.

Although he railed against the “military industrial complex,” a phrase not used in a presidential campaign in several decades, he did make a strong case for eliminating the income tax and replacing with a national sales tax, pointing out that such a tax would still be “progressive.” After all, Gravel pointed out, limousine liberal like Stephanopolous would pay for in sales taxes on their $2,000 suits than cheap guys like Gravel would pay for their $250 suits.

The guy’s gotta point.

Gravel also made a pitch for implementing a process for placing national citizen initiatives on the ballot, an interesting idea deserving of discussion and serious debate. Alas, Gravel is not a serious candidate and won’t be making any serious headway on this issue, or his campaign for president. But so what? As Gravel himself said in his closing remarks, “I don’t think it’s important if I get elected or not.”

Now THERE’S a bumper sticker for you!

Lord, is this ever going to be a long campaign…

Perhaps today’s show was best described in a statement released by Rep. Dean Heller, the Republican congressman representing the district in which it was held: “Democrats have more candidates than they do substantive ideas.  Of this large cast of left-wing characters, I saw not one President among them.”

Amen.

Posted on February 21st, 2007 by Chuck Muth
Filed under: National