Dr. Bulldog declares fart war
April 10th, 2007 at 2:59 am . by nuke“I’ve been eating red beans and rice for three days straight,” said Ronin. “This is one fart war that will be over before it starts.”
Fighting words have been spoken. the weapons of choice: gas attacks, but not the WMD variety. Chagrined by being left off the blogworthy fatwah list, Foehammer’s Anvil was called out by Dr. Bulldog in a test of gastro-intestinal fortitude.
“I hereby declare a Fatwa on FoeHammer’s website! That sick twisted freak has for years been working with the infidels to subvert the peaceful religion of Islam!”
Not to be outdone, the Anvil responded, “I’ve had sinus congestion from all the dang pollen for a couple of weeks. Ronin is just a blowhard. I’m not worried at all.”
Brave words, indeed.
Protestors were seen carrying signs and chanting, “What if they gave a Fart War and nobody came?
Developing…..
UPDATE:
“I won’t quit sniffing around until I get to the bottom of this!” …Dr. Bulldog
Developing…
UPDATE 2:
“I’m offended that I’m not offensive enough” … declared the Anvil, who was observed stocking up on beer and pork rinds.
Developing …
Comment posted by Little ‘Ol Me A “Fatwa Worthy” Blogger? « Ironic Surrealism
at 4/18/2007 12:14:12 PM
[…] Dr. Bulldog declares fart war @ Nukes News & Views […]
Comment posted by Fatwa Worthiness « Ironic Surrealism
at 4/12/2007 11:23:37 PM
[…] There has been an interesting turn of events in the blogosphere. I owe a huge tip of my hat to Nuke for this […]
Comment posted by nuke
at 4/12/2007 10:36:54 PM
roflmao
Comment posted by no2liberals
at 4/12/2007 10:32:59 PM
Comment posted by nuke
at 4/12/2007 10:32:03 PM
Hey got milk? The smell of war is distinctive.
Comment posted by got milk?
at 4/12/2007 10:20:47 PM
this sounds like a much better FART WAR than this.
http://www.hoyboys.net/FARTWARS.html
Evening all!
Comment posted by velvethammer
at 4/12/2007 10:12:59 PM
Warning heeded, Sir!
LMFAO! Better I had said, that you never fail to amuse me? With your intelligent sense of humor. 
Comment posted by Ronin
at 4/12/2007 9:22:09 PM
Slay you? Lies and slander you speak. I do not slay women. Do not put those ideas into the heads of evil American spies who scour the Internet looking to make examples of innocent and peace loving Ronin. I am not even on your FBI’s list of most wanted. You have confused me with a scalawag like that Doctor Bulldog or his evil twin Nuke. Although I can not be certain they have slain anyone- people who visit them have been seen on milk cartons. I am innocent of your false charges, meet me in a dark and lonely place and you will see I am one of the good guys. Don’t let anyone know you are coming especially the cavmom (she is a gossip and voyeur). Trust only me and foehammer. He may have problems with BO but at his age he is easy to run from and he has problems with stairs. I have tried to explain to him not to carry that heavy anvil everywhere he goes but he likes the sound of his hammer clanging against the sides. His roommate no2liberals is more mobile but as an addict of pizza is very slow to move and you could easily distract him by rolling a ho ho and walking the other direction. No my lovely young blogger I am the only normal person left in the blogospere and whoever told you I am a slayer of women was mistaken or after your soul. Trust not such people, you have been warned.
Comment posted by velvethammer
at 4/12/2007 7:40:24 PM
LOL Ronin I was meaning how you all poked fun at the “fatwa worthy in the bloggosphere” deal and how you all have turned it into such a riot! 
You do slay me though, you really do!
Comment posted by Ronin
at 4/11/2007 9:11:05 PM
Yeah right, like Velvet is all impressed at our manly ability to cover entire geographic areas with toxic and nauseous clouds. Many women claim they want “real men” until they are forced to leave windows open on chilly winter nights. I was never that impressed with women who would rather breath so called fresh air over a little discom-fart. You would think they would sleep better knowing full well no one was going to sneak into that room. At least not while it was plainly marked with masculinity. Doc and I have already shown that scruffy bearded Uncle Sam wannabie he was messing with professional gastronimaniacs. What he lacks in gaseous glands he makes up for with a top-notch web site. I am a simple soldier in this fart war, Doc started it not out of anger but necessity. Scientist’s had theorized about the existence of “Dark Matter” for years. Doc discovered it while building his model of the 5th dimensional universe. His theory came to him after he and a few “research assistants” went on a bender with several cases of Mexican beer and bratwurst. Poor Foehammer never stood a chance.
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