Sorry I haven’t been around much; personal issues have kept me away from blogging.

I got this from a liberal friend of mine (yes, I do have some liberal friends). He calls me a “neocon”, and compared to him I suppose I am, even though I have always considered myself a moderate. I’m sure some of you have seen this, but under the whimsical humor there is a rather pointed message.

TRADITIONAL VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN, POLITICALLY CORRECT VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of
the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in
a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to
suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,
and everybody cries when they sing, “It’s Not Easy Being Green.”
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house
where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall
overcome.” Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for
the grasshopper’s sake. Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry & Harry Reid
exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten
rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an
immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper
Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined
for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and,
having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the government. Hillary gets her old law firm to
represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and
the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill
Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant, naturally, loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits
of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just
happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he
doesn’t maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the
house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who
terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Smith

“taking up a glowing cinder with the tongs and lighting with it the long cherry-wood pipe which was wont to replace his clay when he was in a disputatious rather than a meditative mood”–Dr. John H. Watson

Please visit my blog at murderofravens.wordpress.com

Just got an email from bro-in-law….

Heh, works every time!

(CNN) — It could be the latest so-called Chuck Norris fact: “The American people don’t choose presidents, Chuck Norris does,” and Chuck is backing Republican Mike Huckabee for president. Here are the Top 20 facts you should know about Mike Huckabee.

#20. When Mike Huckabee participated in the Iowa Straw Poll, they had to re-name it the Iowa Iron Pole.

#19. Stephen Hawking told Mike Huckabee the universe was 12 billion years old once. Once.

#18. Mike Huckabee lost 100 pounds of body fat by eating it.

#17. Top scientists believe global warming is a direct consequence of Mike Huckabee getting angry.

#16. Mike Huckabee won’t repeal the Estate Tax out of sympathy for the families of his victims.

#15. Mike Huckabee has completed six marathons, two of which aren’t until next year.

#14. Fred Thomspon, John McCain and Rudy Giuliani all got cancer because Mike Huckabee looked at them too hard.

#13. If Mike Huckabee is elected, he’ll bring all the troops home–he can handle this himself.

#12. Mike Huckabee would’ve stopped the attack of 9/11, but there was an asteroid hurtling toward Earth that day.

#11. Mike Huckabee doesn’t talk in sound bites; he speaks in decibel munches.

#10. Charles Darwin was actually born the same year as Mike Huckabee, but Huckabee punched him back to the 1800s.

#9. If Mike Huckabee had been President, the levees in New Orleans never would’ve broke, ’cause Katrina would’ve known better.

#8. Mike Huckabee’s philosophy on showing mercy is “abstinence-only.”

#7. Atheism can be cured by Mike Huckabee’s farts.

#6. Mike Huckabee is so powerful, even the ugly, unwanted, weight he discarded is running for president: Dennis Kucinich.

#5. The 1976 Tangshan earthquake killed over 250,000 people. Nine months later, the Huckabees welcomed their first son.

#4. Mike Huckabee spelled backwards is “Jesus Loves You.” It’s not? I dare you to tell that to Mike Huckabee.

#3. Mike Huckabee is only running for President because he’s reached his term limit as Grand Master of Space and Time

#2. Mike Huckabee opposes the right to die… painlessly.

#1. In Soviet Russia, President runs for Mike Huckabee!

Honorable Mention: If elected, Mike Huckabee will replace the Justice Department with his fists.

Borrowed Liberally from TheIndecider
h/t bamapachyderm

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On his band, Capitol Offence: “We’re playing at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa, where Buddy Holly and Ritchie Valens played their last concert. I will not be flying out that evening.”

On health care: “Baby boomers retiring are going to cause a crisis for health care. Can you imagine what it will cost when all the hippies find out that seniors get free drugs?”

On Arkansas: “I heard a man was telling a joke about a politician from Arkansas. I told him: ‘You won’t believe this, but I am a politician from Arkansas.’ He said to me: ‘Don’t worry son, I’ll tell it real slow.’?”

On his poor upbringing: “We only had this lava soap [which contains pumice stone]. I was in college before I realized a shower wasn’t supposed to hurt.”

He was born in the small town of Hope, Arkansas, and overcame poverty to become governor of his native state before launching a bid for the White House. He is a charismatic speaker and a musician who has played with some of America’s most famous artists.

Bill Clinton? Nope. Mike Huckabee.

Great interview in The Telegraph (UK). Read it all.

UPDATE:

DBZWarror posted Huck’s appearance this morning on Fox News Sunday.

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