Conspiracy Theory Du Jour ‘Haliburton’ or ‘Blackwater’ Will Assassinate Obama

January 5, 2008 | Filed Under Democrats/Leftists, Elections, Media Bias, News, Publius Contributor, Warner Todd Huston |

-By Warner Todd Huston

Want some old fashioned black helicopter, conspiracy goofiness? Check out the frenzied work of HufPoster Joseph Palmero who imagines that if Obama becomes president members of Blackwater security services or Haliburton would somehow decide to assassinate him. After reading his wild-eyed musings, one wonders if the foam from his mouth short circuited his keyboard as he wrote?

In an effort to equate Obama’s rather empty rhetoric and lack of a substantive record to what Palmero imagines his lefty pals will imagine is “greatness,” Palmero tries to work in some equating of the junior Senator from Illinois with Robert F. Kennedy’s campaign for the Dem nomination for president in 1968. Saying that Obama “struck similar chords” as Kennedy, Palmero waxes poetic about how it “took forty years” to see another Kennedyesque candidate.

But there was another, more sinister aspect of the Kennedy run that Palmero wanted to exploit with his piece. That aspect is the promise of a Kennedy panacea that was cut so short by an assassin’s bullet. Absurdly, Palmero seems to expect the same to happen to Barack Hussein Obama.

Here’s the wind up…

In 1968, when Kennedy was gaining momentum and piling up primary victories it looked as though he would win the presidential nomination. But before he could be safely ensconced inside “the bubble” of 24-hour federal protection he was assassinated. And his progressive challenge to the war in Vietnam and to poverty at home was stopped in its tracks.

In 2008, Obama is gaining momentum, and hopefully people inside his organization are cognizant of the fact that he constitutes a very real threat to the likes of Blackwater, Dyncorps, Halliburton, and the hundreds of other private companies currently profiteering from the Iraq occupation.

Uh, Oh. It’s the greatest evil known to leftism, Haliburton, creeping in from the depths of hell to silence our great dark promise! The dastardly Blackwater and those henchmen of evil in Dynacorps are lurking about, too! Garsh.

And why would they be such a threat to Barack “the magic negro” (as Rush Limbaugh so amusingly popularized the name for him last year)? It’s because Blackwater is run by a “right-wing Christian nationalist” and because they stand to “lose big time” with an Obama presidency, of course.

Blackwater, that reactionary private mercenary outfit headed by the right-wing Christian nationalist Erik Prince stands to lose big time with an Obama presidency. Under George W. Bush Blackwater went from a marginal company with about $27 million in government contracts to a behemoth currently receiving over $1 billion in federal largesse.

The tin foil on Palmero’s balding pate must be too tight. But he says he is sure Obama would get rid of all those guys, so this is the reason Obama is doomed. But, so what, you might wonder? If Obama cuts them out of government contracts once he becomes prez, how will that open him up for assassination? How will the devils from Blackwater get at him, you might wonder? Won’t the new prez have Secret Service protection?

Ah, good question, gentle reader. And therein lies the next phase of Palmero’s nuttiness.

The Blackwater Boys no doubt have close friends and ideological soul mates deep inside the federal security services.

Ah, interesting. So, the goblins and demons of Haliburton and Blackwater will infiltrate the Secret Service and assassinate a sitting president! Here is a man who knows nothing about the professionalism of the Secret Service.

You know, if the Writer’s strike wasn’t in full bloom like it is, I’d think that Palmero was writing the next episode of some lurid TV thriller or penning a bad Oliver Stone movie with this foolishness. But, being the good extreme leftie I am sure Joe is, he wouldn’t be crossing that picket line to do so. Therefore, I have to assume that Palmero is SERIOUS with these fantastical mumblings.

Then he ends with this line of doggerel that will be sure to thrill his most pink of pinko pals.

When the political winds blow toward radical change our recent history shows that there’s a tendency for popular leaders on the left to face some form of unexplained tragedy.

Nice. Can he name all those leaders? About the only one that truly fits that description is Martin Luther King, Jr. But even if you do include the two messers Kennedy, that gives you a grand total of three. Compared to the assassinations of political leaders in other countries even since 1962 that number pales in comparison. In truth, no left leaning American activist has much to worry about where it comes to assassination… as a serious look at history confirms.

No, Joe Palmero doesn’t give us serious political analysis here at all. What he does give us is a script for a bad TV show. I still think the Writer’s Guild should go after him for crossing the picket lines because if this HufPo piece isn’t fiction for entertainment purposes, what is?

And now the most alarming part of all. This Palermo fanatic is a University professor.

Assistant Professor, History, CSUS. Bachelor’s degrees in sociology and anthropology from UC Santa Cruz, master’s degree in history from San Jose State University, master’s degree and doctorate in American history from Cornell University. Expertise includes political history, presidential politics, presidential war powers, social movements of the 20th century, movements of the 1960s, civil rights, and foreign policy history.

Why is this not surprising that a person such as this is in charge of teaching our youth?

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Warner Todd Huston is a Chicago based freelance writer, has been writing opinion editorials and social criticism since early 2001 and is featured on many websites such as newsbusters.org, townhall.com, New Media Journal, Men’s News Daily and the New Media Alliance among many, many others. Additionally, he has been a frequent guest on talk-radio programs to discuss his opinion editorials and current events. He has also written for several history magazines and appears in the new book “Americans on Politics, Policy and Pop Culture” which can be purchased on amazon.com. He is also the owner and operator of publiusforum.com. Feel free to contact him with any comments or questions : EMAIL Warner Todd Huston