Passing the hat. ;)
You Might Be A Taliban If…
Cross posted from Pat Dollard
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon “unclean.”
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You’ve often uttered the phrase, ” I love what you’ve done with your cave.”
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You’ve ever had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.
Nods to One Shot.
H/T Robert D
Welcome Freepers!
Semi related:
I am Huff Po - The Leftist Manifesto
10 responses so far ↓
1 Doctor Bulldog // Mar 6, 2008 at 10:19 am
VH,
Reuters picked up another one of your articles:
HERE
Cheers
2 Velvet Hammer // Mar 6, 2008 at 11:17 am
Thanks Doc!
Speaking of Reuters you should get a kick out of this.
Oops! They (Reuters) did it again! LOL
Hint: mo toons
3 zed // Jul 14, 2008 at 6:56 am
i find all of the above to be highly racist,
Is jus cultured difference.
Im british myself however i could find just as many faults with the people of this nation and thats not taking out of context as you have.
think about it.
4 Velvet Hammer // Jul 14, 2008 at 1:57 pm
zed
TBH I do not give a flying fig if you or anyone considers “You might be a Taliban if…” racist.
Get a grip dude. It is a joke.
Though they are the ones who choose to live like animals. Not I. But then again I am civilized and I do not strap bombs to my waist and indiscriminately kill innocent civilians. All in the name of a false heathen prophet. But that is just me. I am funny that way.
Besides… the taliban are bloodthirsty barbarians. But a race? Not hardly.
Every group has members who are at fault for one thing or another. But pray tell are there any who have thousands of members who would just as soon slice off your neck as to look at you?
Think about it.
Appeasement and apologizing will be the downfall of the west. Have you received your thank you note yet? I am sure they are grateful for you doing your part. Heh.
5 .............. // Aug 18, 2008 at 11:46 pm
wtf i d found this very racist and im and afghan and i dont know any bdy who does any of these
this seriously pissed me off its not a joke
6 WTFRUSTUPID!? // Sep 8, 2008 at 5:52 am
Making humorous remarks against taliban aren’t racist you dumbass, that’s like saying “Oh my god you made fun of the labor-party, you racist bastard!” Before you make an ass of yourself in the future I suggest you acctually learn what taliban really is, here’s a tip, it means “Student”, they are nothing but a teocratic regime who’s terrorized Afghanistan for several decades and has gone totally bonkers and decided to bring their terrorism to the west…wich was a stupid choice that sealed their future…They really are as stupid as in the above text, I’ve seen it myself.
7 Velvet Hammer // Sep 8, 2008 at 11:59 am
WTFRUSTUPID!?
Imagine being labeled a Naziophobe.
Being called a racist when speaking out against Nazism.
That damn well would of never happened back then. And by God it shouldn’t be happening with Islam now.
The twisted mind of the left allows it.
They are traitors to their own countries.
8 taliban hunter // Nov 6, 2008 at 11:48 am
im sorry but that is funny. you my friend are a genius.
9 ll // Nov 12, 2008 at 7:25 pm
i dont think this funny. you can try and pass it off as a joke but it still is racist. back in the day the odd black comment would be funny to. the taliban have done some horrible things that does not mean you should spread steortypes about them. It just causes misunderstanding between cultures. fucktards
10 Velvet Hammer // Nov 12, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Are you comparing ignorant racist jokes against black people to making fun of the Taliban?
I want to congratulate you for having rendered the term racism completely meaningless.
Oh yes it does. Actually this is quite tame. They ask for and deserve much more.
I am sick to death of people like you who defend the evil and lecture the messenger.
I tell you what why don’t you go have a pow wow with them. And see if they will end their bloody jihad.
Let me know how it all works out for you mmmkay…
*Also see #4
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