Candidate Offers Solution to East Gate Stalemate
May 14th 2008ScottPolitics & Wyoming & Yellowstone East Gate & blogging & conservatism & elections & multiple use & satire & taxes
Wanting to ensure that winter recreation will not be hampered on the newly reconstructed Sylvan Pass, Congressional Candidate Mark Gordon, an alleged Republican, has offered an amazing solution that he will present at the next East Gate meeting in Billings, MT in June.
In April, Queen Lewis, Overseer and Ruler of the Yellowstone National Park, as well as imposer of insane regulations on the surrounding villages, noted that it would take $4 million dollars to keep Sylvan Pass open for winter recreation. The large sum of money would go to bring the area in complete compliance with OSHA concerns that were made seven years ago about the dangerous work environment of firing a large cannon to make snow rapidly fall off the slope of a mountain.
While evaluating his campaign FEC report from the first quarter of this year, Mark Gordon noticed that he had contributed $300,000 of his own money to his own campaign. Of course any private citizen that gave that amount to the same campaign would be tarred and feathered, but that’s another post. After a quick calculation, he realized that if he withdrew from the campaign, like so many wish he would, he could have Sylvan Pass OSHA compliant in just over three years. If he continued to rely on donors as well, he could have the $4 million needed in just two and a half years.
If Queen Lewis and the committee of concerned community residents agree to Gordon’s proposal, he has pledged to withdraw from the race and begin funding the OSHA upgrades to the Sylvan Pass avalanche danger zone.
2 Comments »
Brian on 14 May 2008 at 8:24 am #
Unfortunately, we realize it’s a parody when one remembers that Democrats don’t give their money, they give YOUR money.
Scott on 14 May 2008 at 3:50 pm #
I hadn’t thought of that aspect of it Brian, but you make a good point. Also, thanks for reiterating that this is satire and intended for humor. Some people from Buffalo and other places might be wondering “When did he say that?” and one person in particular is probably going “I NEVER SAID THAT!!!!”