Wyoming Vote Tracker

I promise, I’ll get into the serious blogging again soon. But, I gotta share this. A friend of one of my friends on Facebook posted on the latter friend’s wall

“Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Sarah Palin told it too!”

I got a good laugh out of that, and have shared it with many of my coworkers, who have also gotten a laugh out of it. I was reminded of the infamous e-mail from a while back that had a list of politicians and other persons of fame with their “would be” answers to age-old riddle of why the chicken crossed the road, and given the new reason involving Gov. Palin, I thought it was about time to update the list of people and their answers. Following are the answers that I have conjured up in my mind.

John McCain: My friends, that chicken has a future in the Republican Party. It stood up to the corruption and greed of staying on the one side of the road, and crossed the road to work with chickens across the road to find a common ground, and work together to get things done.

Sarah Palin: As Governor of Alaska, I fought against the good ol’ chickens network and fought for ethics reform in the chicken road-crossing lobby. I told them if they wanted a bridge to cross a road to nowhere, they could build it themselves.

Rush Limbaugh: The chicken had talent on loan from God to cross the road. You know it, and I know it. National polls on how many chickens cross roads are meaningless. You have to look at the state-by-state polls to get an accurate perception of what’s going on.

Ron Paul: The Constitution doesn’t say if the chicken can or cannot cross the road. The Federal Government should not dictate the terms of the crossing, but should allow the individual states to decide the matter.

Barack Obama: Well, uh, you know, the fact is, that if  you, um, you know, you can put lipstick on a chicken, and it’s still a chicken. Um, you, uh, you can fry it up, and, you know, put it in a bag, and, uh, it’s still a chicken. It’s above my pay grade, you know, to explain, uh, why the chicken crossed the road. I uh, I don’t want to take a particular side, you know, on the issue, but, I, uh, will be present to watch it cross, you know, the road.

Joe Biden: That chicken is actually more qualified to be Vice President than I am.

Joe Biden: We have the chicken that crossed the road here today. Stand up chicken so the others can see you. Oh, my. What am I thinking?  You’re having the others stand up for you; Stand up for the chicken!

Joe Biden: Chickens crossing the road and paying a higher toll to do so is actually patriotic.

Michelle Obama: For the first time in my adult life, I am proud to watch chickens crossing roads.

Rev. Jerimiah Wright:THAT RACIST, INTOLERANT CHICKEN BELONGED TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND IT WAS COMING HOME…….TO ROOST!

Dirk Kempthorne (Secretary of the Interior): While it sets a bad precedent to protect chickens crossing roads on the basis of global climate change, the change of the climate is undoubtedly having an impact on the chicken crossing the road, so it must be protected.

Hillary Clinton: I wasn’t aware that the chicken road-crossing event was going to be a political event. I will not provide an opinion on the matter since Gov. Palin was allowed to address the issue as well.

THE WYOMING EDITION

Suzanne Lewis (Yellowstone Park Superintendent): The chicken shouldn’t be allowed to cross the road until significant safty concerns are resolved. Cost of resolving the safety concerns is also an issue, plus there have been fewer and fewer chickens crossing the road, thus, cost plays into if the chicken should be allowed to cross the road to begin with.

Wyoming Game and Fish Department: The effects of predation caused predominantly by wolves forced the chicken into instinctively crossing the road.

U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service: There are not enough wolves in the ecosystem to have a significant impact on chicken road-crossing. Additionally, Wyoming’s chicken road-crossing management plan does not ensure that there will be a viable population of chickens to continue crossing the road.

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