Wyoming Hwy. Patrol Issues Report on Environmental Movement
Apr 3rd 2009ScottAmerican History & Politics & Wyoming & Yellowstone East Gate & blogging & conservatism & elections & multiple use & patriotism & satire & wolves & worthwhile reads
With concern over safety in making traffic stops, the Wyoming Highway Patrol has issued a report to their offices, as well as county and local law enforcement agencies around the state.
The report, ironically issued on the heels of a similar report in Missouri, warned several times of drivers that are likely “left wing extremists.” The reported noted the various acts of vandalism that “environmentalist extremists” (a subset of “left wing extremists”) have taken part in, including burning car lots that sell SUV’s and burning new home developments. Left wing extremists, as a whole, have also been noted for various acts of violence, as well as disrupting public speeches and events sympathetic to conservative or right wing causes with protesting chants.
The report noted that often left wing extremists can be identified by driving small subcompact cars that typically run solely on alternative fuels such as ethanol or electricity. They often have multiple bumper stickers ranging from opposing the delisting of wolves, grizzly bears, and other species, to supporting various third party Presidential candidates such as Ralph Nadar, and perhaps even major Democrat Presidential candidates including Al Gore, John Kerry, and President Obama. Bumper stickers with phrases such as “Global Warming Isn’t My Fault Because I Drive A Hybrid,” “Fossil Fuels Are Evil,” “Ban Snowmobiling,” and “Michael Moore Is Right” are also common.
The report noted that often these cars won’t necessarily be stopped for speeding. They may in fact, merely be waiting for assistance due to running out of the alternative fuel that powers their automobile between towns on one of Wyoming’s many highways. The alternative fuels are not widely available in Wyoming, and due to the sparsity of Wyoming’s population, it may have taken in excess of 90 minutes for the distressed driver to see anyone, civilian or law enforcement. The long wait can induce extreme negative emotions, which will likely only be further fueled when they find out that the fuel that their car runs on is not common in Wyoming, and that there will be a further multiple hour wait for a tow truck to arrive. Patrolmen with SUV patrol vehicles were advised to pull behind the waiting motorist, radio and wait for for non-SUV support.
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